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Mental Health Resources for the Israel Hamas War

Dear Temple family,

Seeing what is happening in Israel and Gaza has been shocking, saddening, and disturbing. If you are experiencing feelings that are sometimes strong or that are having an impact on your ability to connect with others, you might be experiencing grief. Grief is not just being sad. Rather, it includes a range of emotions that are unique to each of us. For example, grief can include anger, rage, bitterness and irritation and sometimes all of these and more. You might also be confused and feeling lonely, as events continue to evolve.

Moving through grief and loneliness can be difficult. It is critically important that we take care of ourselves so that we can continue to navigate daily life and responsibilities, which may include taking care of children and elderly parents.

During emotionally heavy times, one question that can act as a straightforward way to cope is to ask yourself: How would I help a loved one to cope? Most of us have certainty about how we’d advise our close friends, children, or anyone important in our lives. It’s vital that we treat ourselves in this same way.

What this might look like:

Taking extended breaks from social media
- Example: If your child were scrolling through social media and responding to everything that made them angry and upset, you would likely want them to take a break or come off of those apps entirely. Adults need to do the same.
- Social media doesn’t allow for nuances – it is especially extreme when it comes to political topics. Complex issues get parsed down into “good” or “bad” and “right” or “wrong.”
- Social media is the fast food of connection – just as fast food provides a quick way to feed ourselves, it does not offer any long-term benefits or nutritive value. similarly, social media offers very little in the way of substantive, healing conversations. For productive, healthy connectedness we need real-time, back and forth engagement. Social media is the place where sound bites live and being “right” dominates.
Caretaking of ourselves more intentionally
- Example: If you’ve ever run an intense race, studied for a major exam or birthed a baby, you’ve likely spent a great deal of time taking care of yourself over a long period of time with significant intentionality. This same concept can help during uncertain, exhausting moments in time.
- Ask yourself, have I… eaten regular and nutritious food/meals, gotten enough rest, spent time outdoors/in nature, engaged with a friend who supports me, protected myself from toxic conversations/posts, balanced watching the news with taking breaks, etc.
Talking with someone/expressing
- But not just anyone. Some family members and friends are better than others at listening and offering support. Others may have the opposite effect.
Treating yourself with a little extra kindness
- Example: You have been taking in and thinking about the media coverage of the war and are feeling irritable. You lash out at your child, spouse or friend nearly immediately after they ask a simple question and they look hurt.
- First, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are having a tough time and that’s ok. Then, let whoever was on the receiving end of your irritation know that you are sorry. If you feel comfortable doing so, let them know what was happening internally for you and that it is likely connected to your behavior.
- Sample script, “I’ve been watching a lot of news and am worried about what is happening in Israel. I sometimes feel sad and angry about it and noticed that that may be why I lashed out at you. I made a mistake and I’m so sorry. Can we start over? Would you mind asking me your question again?”
- When you give someone the opportunity to know what is happening inside, you strengthen your connection to them because they can understand better what you are going through and support you. It also prevents them from feeling like your behavior is their fault (this is especially important for kids and teens).
- Remember that it is never too late to repair a rupture in a relationship!

Below, we have added more advice on how to navigate this difficult time. Please explore these resources for what will be most helpful to you.

Remember, your clergy are here to support you. Please reach out to any of us as time goes on for advice for yourself, your children, your grandchildren, and others in your life.

We are stronger together.

Your ShalomCare Team